Foot Stabbings rise 2000% in Many States

Reports are pouring in from states all over the country especially Florida, Wisconsin and Ohio regarding individuals stabbing themselves in the foot.

Hospitals have had to hire additional staff to keep up with the influx of normally atypical injuries, but with budget cuts, have had people laying on cots in hallways with their feet bolstered up with pillows until they can be seen.

Thanks in part to health care reform, individuals who did not have health insurance will not be turned away.  "Some of these folks would have lost their foot due to infection if they could not be taken care of, and sadly, all of them voted for representatives who then voted against the health care bill - it seems they've seen the light." said Dr. Thicknese Ankles from Mercy General.  "I hope this in an indication that ties have been cut from their Republican parasitic hosts."

"In a way, we hope this influx continues, perhaps the sleeping masses have started to awaken." A Doctor who wishes to remain anonymous fearing his job.  'We will continue to do our best, we always do."