17 January 2012

Gay Woman Accuses Catholic Church of Cannibalism

In a bold move to bring attention to the discrepancy and inconsistency in the Catholic Church, Janus Rhye, an otherwise unassuming law abiding Gay woman has accused a Priest of Cannibalism.  "That a Catholic Priest is so outspoken against Gays and Gay marriage as well as Contraception and a woman's right to choose is deplorable" She continued on "especially since, on a weekly basis, commits a taboo and illegal crime of cannibalism as well as brain washing a huge congregation to do that same."


Outraged by her unfounded claims, church members stood outside her home (that she lives in with her partner of 27 years)  with signs like these: 


 "What did that baby killer expect?" A 12 year old said who stood with his 9 year old brother also holding a sign that said "God hates fags."

The accusing letter was written to the editor of the local paper as well as the local Sheriff's office (and can be read unedited HERE) but was not published.  Instead, the editor emailed a copy of the letter to the Priest as well as his wife and went viral from there.  The nicest of all signs read "Pray for Janus, she knows not what she says, the Devil made her do it"

When asked why she wrote the letter, she said simply; "If I can live with cannibals in my backyard, they can live with Gays in theirs.  If they don't bother me, I won't bother them."

When reporters asked the Priest if he wanted to comment, he said  "We would never, have never, and just the accusing idea that we are cannibals is ridiculous.  Our rituals are those passed down from God Himself.  The offering is of the blood and body of Christ our Savior in a sacred ritual blessed by he Himself.  God"

"So," said the reporter, "You are taking an offering of the Blood and Body of Jesus Christ, is that what you just said?"  "Yes, of course." "Isn't it just wine and crackers?  Really, you buy the wine, make the crackers... a little flour, some water...." "Yes and No, it begins as such, but then, through a sacred ritual and blessing, it turns into the Blood and Body..." "Magic, too?" "No." getting agitated, "It is a beautiful ceremony..." "That you turn into a person?" "No, not a person, the son of God" "So...Jesus wasn't a person?"  Then the Priest said "This conversation is over, we would love to have you at services this Sunday when in my sermon we will talk about this further."  And he walked away.

Janus said that she knows this kind of accusation could never and would never hold up in court, but it was merely a way to expose the way a group of people can make each other believe what they want to believe.  "If Catholics want to believe that they can turn wine into Blood, who are we to criticize? If you don't believe it, don't.  Be a Protestant, be a Jew, be whatever you like.  I don't have to believe it if I don't want to either.  Also, I believe that all citizens have the right to marry, to have the right to openly love whomever they wish, that is what I believe.  Others believe it, too.  Just because as a woman I believe I can,and do, love another woman the same as any other woman could love another man doesn't mean you have to believe it.  You just have to accept that it's true.  How can your "smaller government" be trying to impose so many laws that pertain to what happens inside my own home?  Is  that not exactly the opposite of what you are trying to accomplish?"

The protests continue in front of Janus' home.